you are not alone

This post is part of the Breastfeeding Blog Hop hosted by Life With Levi, The Slacker Mom and Diary of a Devil Dog Wife.

Before Toddler B was born, I didn't think too much about breastfeeding. I knew I was going to do it, and what else did I really need to know beyond that? I put The Nursing Mother's Companion on hold at the library, and read a little of it when I got it. I met with the lactation consultant when I was in my last trimester because I was a little concerned that I would have some problems due to an inverted nipple. But did I think that I would not be able to breastfeed, or that I would have problems with it? No.

But does anyone ever think that they are going to have a child with special needs? Of course not. Toddler B's birth and the aftermath was a roller coaster ride down to hell and back. Born not breathing. No desire to suckle. The move to the NICU, and the fight with the nurses who wanted to gavage feed her with formula. The continuing struggle and failure to get her to even show interest in latching. The start of my love-hate relationship with the pump and struggles with supply.


I am lucky that I had an incredible lactation consultant to guide me on my way, but besides her, I was alone. Stuck listening to women all around me talk about how they never had any breastfeeding problems, how their milk would let down so fast and how their supply was never-ending. How their babies latched immediately and loved to nurse.

I felt so alone. Like a failure. Convinced that I was flawed, that I lacked some gene that allowed me to be a normal breastfeeding mother.

I wish I knew then what I know now- that there was a wealth of information and support to be found right there in front of me, on the internet. Other moms blogging about the same problems that I was having. Discussions on the need to exclusively pump for their babies. Information about milk banks that could have been so helpful for my little NICU baby. There was a sea of reassurance and support out there just waiting for me, but I never knew about it.

This is why I created this blog- to be yet another online resource for breastfeeding moms. Maybe a link that I share is helpful. Maybe someone reads a post and thinks, Yes! That's how I feel too! Maybe some mama out there feels a little less alone. I know that as I discovered other mamas discussing the same things that I went through with Toddler B, the feelings of abnormality and shame gradually fell away.

We all can help mamas avoid these feelings. Do you know a mama-to-be, or a new breastfeeding mother? Mention the wealth of breastfeeding resources and blogs online. Share the link to the breastfeeding blog hop. Share this blog! Ask the new mother how she is doing with breastfeeding- really. Talk about some of the struggles that you had, not just the successes.

No mama should have to feel alone or like a failure in their breastfeeding journey!